$250 bucks later, I have learned that part of what contributed to its problem (aside from the fact its a cheapo builder-model door and opener) is that we haven't been "maintaining" it by "lubing" it each month. Lube is another really gross sounding word, and I heard it way too much today. According to my Repair Man (who was thankfully NOT a perv), no one is aware that they are supposed to be "lubing" their wheels, spring, and chain each month to keep everything working properly. (That is unless you have "self-lubing" higher-quality stuff. Then you're off the monthly maintenance hook, I guess). I'm supposed to go look for some junk called Liquid Wrench.
So now you've got the memo--go lube yourselves (or at least your garage doors) and save yourselves the cash and the headache.
And I love that my group of Men seems to be multiplying everyday: I've got my Tire Man, my Garage Door Repair Man, my really, really incompetent AT&T Phone Man. It's like my very own Village People. Oooh, should I drop a match on Jeremy's Barry Manilow collection so I could add a Fire Man to the group?