Friday, April 30, 2010

Ramblings: Fun via satellite

Since we bought the new mom-mobile, we've had XM satellite radio for a free trial period. I have to admit, I didn't think I would really like it that much...but I do. I'm hooked.  In the time it takes me to drive from home to my doctor's office, I can hear the most awesome hodge podge mixture of songs. I mean it--I heard Toto, Pearl Jam, New Kids on the Block, Bon Jovi, U2, Michael Jackson, Huey Lewis and Tears for Fears in 30 minutes. Songs that I had forgotten existed and how much I love them.

So the little boys have gotten hooked on listening for new songs that they love. They've decided anything by Michael Jackson (or Jack Michaelson, Mikeson Jackal, Jackael Mike, and a variety of other interpretations when they can't exactly remember his name) is dance-worthy fun in the car. But here's the funny part of the story. A few days ago they heard "Maneater" by Hall and Oates for the first time. You would've thought they discovered a whole moving van stuffed with candy. Ever since then, everytime we get in the car, all I hear is, "PUT ON MANEATER! I want Maneater! She's a MANEATER--she only comes out at night!" followed by hysterical laughter. Last night I finally remembered to buy it on itunes and they've been listening to it on repeat since. Actually, I bought their "best of" cd and it's got alot of great tunes on it.

If you haven't heard Maneater in awhile, you really should give it a listen. Just the "whoa, whoa here she comes" line makes it a worthwhile listen.

Seriously, how can you go wrong with a song by these guys? That is some SERIOUS hair right there. Oh my gosh. We're listening to it now and "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" just came on. Thank you XM for reminding me of this little lost treasure.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Ramblings: Monday, Monday (sing The Mamas & The Papas song in your heads)

Last week was a bit insane around here. A busy, busy week. A week where the calendar on my iphone just displays "you gotta be kidding me" instead of the actual items each day. Piano competitions, birthday parties, school performances, me--sick as a dog, twins with double ear infections, doctors appointments, my young women finally putting on their original play for New Beginnings, helping Alex finish his huge three part project on Washington--complete with 22 homemade caramel apples, an overnight visit from Jeremy's cousin (who the boys followed around the whole time and then called "that awesome guy" after he left), and the first day with my cleaning lady (I didn't say it was all bad--just busy)...just to mention a few.

Other fun news:
1. Maddie has her first loose tooth. A life-changing event in her life. She's felt like the only kid in first grade without at least a loose tooth.
2. We finally built the new basketball hoop that's been sitting in the garage for over a week. Jeremy scoffed at and name-called the online reviewer that said it took him four hours to put together. It took us four and a half. And we both got sunburned. In your face.
3. I had to go to a meeting last night and as I was leaving, I heard Jeremy trying to explain to Alex (who had just seen a commercial) what "E.D." is and what that little blue pill in the commercial is for...good thing he got to field that one. It was bad enough trying to find an appropriate explanation last week when Maddie asked me what "puberty" means. Except I think she said "puberly" or something and I had to try for five minutes to figure out what she was talking about.
4. I'm mad at all the fence companies in my area. The welded brackets holding on the gate on our wrought iron fence rusted and broke, and I've called and left messages for at least four fence repair places and NO ONE has called me back. Apparently the fencing industry has not been damaged by the crappy economy. Apparently they have more than enough work and do not need my business. FINE! I'll fix it myself with a giant roll of gray duct tape. That'll teach 'em.
5. I'm stuck in that freaky, frumpy, "I just look bloated and fat" stage and I'm sick of it. I didn't really have it with the twins--I just went from nothing to huge in a couple of weeks--and I forgot how nasty it is. Sorry to everyone that has to see me on a semi-daily basis in the same two rotated outfits that are the only comfortable things I have to wear. I may just go pick up a few jumbo muumuus to throw on everyday.
6. I'm in the middle of a frustrating situation with my neighbor--whom I've never met. Let's just say I'm basically her kid's childcare everyday from 3-6 while she's at work. And every morning from 6:45 until the bus comes for the kids at 7:05. And yes, he rings the doorbell and wakes the little kids if they happen, by miracle, to still be sleeping. Have I mentioned I've never met the mom? More on that later. I'm trying to give myself a few days to calm down and figure out what I'm gonna do.

Helpful tips of the day:
1. Don't try to alleviate your throbbing sinus headache with your cold, sweating water bottle unless you make sure the lid is all the way on first. Especially if you're driving down the road at 60 mph.
2. Don't try to explain to two three year olds how the suction tubes at the bank work. It will blow their minds and you will end up wanting to blow your head off.
3. Don't ring my doorbell before 7 am unless I'm expecting you. It won't be a pretty sight when I open the door.
4. When mom's in the shower, hide the foam swords or dad will encourage evil, violent, and possibly racist behavior. Case in point:

Happy Monday. I'm off to chauffeur Alex to baseball practice. That is, of course, after he runs around the house shoving his nasty crotch cup in everyone's face as they shriek and scream in disgust instead of actually getting dressed. People keep telling me I'll miss these years when they're all grown up. I'm pretty confident that I'll never miss getting a stinky cup shoved under right my nose by surprise. Never ever.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Ramblings: Happy Tax-iversary

12 years ago, accompanied by the world's largest bouquet, Jeremy (with his chili-bowl, shaved-sides hairdo) and I with GIANT bangs were married. Apparently bad hair was requisite. And getting married on tax day was an added bonus for Jeremy, making it easier for him to remember future anniversaries and keeping him out of unnecessary hot water.

I surprised him with his new dream grill for the recently completed, but hardly used back porch. With a trial looming, he's been working CRAZY hours and hasn't been around to even try it out yet. It was delivered about a week ago and Mr. Observant even walked past it a few times without noticing it.  He surprised me by lining up the cleaning lady that I've been dreaming about, but couldn't justify spending the money on yet. She's starting next week and I'm giddy--I'll keep you posted. I figure she'll really come in handy in the next year or so, when I'm walking around with a kid attached at the hip and I'm in a sleep-deprived zombie state. 12 years and (almost) 5 kids later, I've earned the break, right? Please. I need someone to agree with me. See. I'm already feeling guilty.

We had lunch today downtown while the boys were at preschool and thought about where we'll be in 12 more years.  Alex will almost be done with his 2 year mission to who-knows-where, Maddie will be in college, and get this--the twins will be getting their drivers licenses. Holy Moly. And Baby Wiener will almost be a teenager. Seems like alot more will be happening in the next 12 years than I'm mentally prepared least I'll have a clean house.

Ok. And if you're wondering why I called the innocent little fetus "Baby Wiener"...?
One of Maddie's friends in her class relayed a HILARIOUS conversation to her mom that she'd had with Maddie in class. The mom grabbed me as we were dropping the boys off at preschool. Her son is also in their class. She said, "I have to tell you what Maddie told Riley at school." She goes on to tell me how Maddie said that she was disappointed the doctor said the baby is a boy because, GET THIS, she "didn't want any more babies with wieners." Why? Apparently because her brothers have wieners and they love their wieners and they are always messing with them. So she has no desire for a baby that has a wiener. Oh my goodness. I've never laughed so hard and been so mortified at the same time. Not that her observations aren't true, but just the fact she's telling other innocent-eared first graders about the wiener situation is probably not a good thing.

Alex's comment when I told him the doctor said he was 98% sure it's a boy: "YES! Oh. Sorry, mom. Well, at least there's still a 2% chance." Apparently, it was common knowledge that I was hoping for a baby without a wiener as well.  But, wiener it is. I've got to say that the twins have made it almost impossible for me to be shocked by any wild, rambunctious, boy-behavior. So I can comfort myself with the knowledge that it will only be one maniac this time instead of two. Next year's anniversary present may be a week long stay in a sanitarium.

To 12 more years...

Monday, April 5, 2010

Rave: Cowgirls Rock

The entire first grade at Maddie's school put on a performance Thursday night (and I've been trying to get blogger to upload my video of it since then. Grrr...) The theme was TEXAS--that's capitalized very intentionally. Texans love their state and their cowboys, and now there's an entire grade level of recently brainwashed Texas lovers to prove it. We have to sign away our rights as parents in the delivery room to ever get mad if they come home with a Texas-related tattoo, run off to join a country band, or bring home a stray horse or cow to have as a pet. It just comes with the territory.

Back to the first graders. They square-danced, they jump roped, they line danced, they sang Elvira (you country Oakridge Boys' lovin' folk know the one I'm talking about), and they praised TEXAS all night long. They even had one boy that did an entire song solo--dressed to the nines in his cowboy gear. Guess what song---? All my ex's live in Texas. Hi-larious. The sad part for the audience was that it was hot in the gym, way  overcrowded, and it smelled like stinky  armpits and dirty feet.

Maddie had a short solo in a group of 7 girls proclaiming how awesome Texas is (she's the first one to sing once the song starts). I'm pretty sure somewhere in the second verse, the girls all promise to name their firstborns Jim Bob or Bubba. She had a cd at home that she's been practicing much so that Aidan and Avery were singing the entire song with the girls. Sorry for the shaky and off-center camera work. I think Jeremy was falling ill due to the stinky armpit smell, but you'll get the idea.

And I apologize to all cowboys everywhere for Maddie's too big, lining sticking out of the front "cowboy hat." It's been in the dress up trunk being abused by kids for a year, so that should explain alot. And no, she doesn't own cowboy boots. A fact that I was repeatedly scolded for (by her) because "HOW CAN SHE BE A COWBOY IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE BOOTS?!" Perhaps a hint to Grandma for her next birthday present. I can just see her struttin' around in pink snakeskin boots...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Ramblings: Calling all doctors

Riding in the car, Aidan discovered his Spiderman dude that had been lost for awhile. Apparently while stuck in a some weird crevice in the minivan, he lost the lower half of his arm.

Aidan: Oh no! Mom, I found Spiderman. But now he has a peg-arm.
(His current favorite Backyardigans episode features Pablo as a pirate with a peg-leg.)

Me: Maybe he's a pirate Spiderman now.

Aidan: No. He just needs some soy-juh-wee. (translation--surgery.)

So if you know any doctors specializing in superhero extremity reattachment, let me know. We have a peg-armed Spiderman in need of some serious help. We might need to have him take a look at those webbed feet, too.

I found this picture on my phone and it made me laugh.  We took the kids to see the 3-D Alice in Wonderland and these were the glasses they were supposed to wear. They only lasted in them for about 20 minutes, which had to be pretty miserable for them since the 3-D movie is totally fuzzy if you're not wearing them. Good thing they're as nuts as they are, and didn't care or notice and spent the entire 1 hour and 45 minutes fighting over a Sprite and eating King sized chocolate candy bars.
Aidan kind of reminds me of that obnoxious dancing guy from the Six Flags commercials. If only he would've worn his red bow tie to the movies that day...
But he's got that crazy smile down pretty good. 
And I promised to show you my beach encounter with Dog the Bounty Hunter. If that ain't him walking through the sand in his pointy cowboy boots with his lovely locks blowing in the wind, then he has a doppelganger in Florida that hangs out with other long haired weirdos in way too tight jeans.  I'm just relieved that sand Alex was flinging from his shovel didn't land firmly in his man-boobie cleavage. Cuz I didn't really need an up close encounter with Dog.