Ramblings: Monday, Monday (sing The Mamas & The Papas song in your heads)

Last week was a bit insane around here. A busy, busy week. A week where the calendar on my iphone just displays "you gotta be kidding me" instead of the actual items each day. Piano competitions, birthday parties, school performances, me--sick as a dog, twins with double ear infections, doctors appointments, my young women finally putting on their original play for New Beginnings, helping Alex finish his huge three part project on Washington--complete with 22 homemade caramel apples, an overnight visit from Jeremy's cousin (who the boys followed around the whole time and then called "that awesome guy" after he left), and the first day with my cleaning lady (I didn't say it was all bad--just busy)...just to mention a few.

Other fun news:
1. Maddie has her first loose tooth. A life-changing event in her life. She's felt like the only kid in first grade without at least a loose tooth.
2. We finally built the new basketball hoop that's been sitting in the garage for over a week. Jeremy scoffed at and name-called the online reviewer that said it took him four hours to put together. It took us four and a half. And we both got sunburned. In your face.
3. I had to go to a meeting last night and as I was leaving, I heard Jeremy trying to explain to Alex (who had just seen a commercial) what "E.D." is and what that little blue pill in the commercial is for...good thing he got to field that one. It was bad enough trying to find an appropriate explanation last week when Maddie asked me what "puberty" means. Except I think she said "puberly" or something and I had to try for five minutes to figure out what she was talking about.
4. I'm mad at all the fence companies in my area. The welded brackets holding on the gate on our wrought iron fence rusted and broke, and I've called and left messages for at least four fence repair places and NO ONE has called me back. Apparently the fencing industry has not been damaged by the crappy economy. Apparently they have more than enough work and do not need my business. FINE! I'll fix it myself with a giant roll of gray duct tape. That'll teach 'em.
5. I'm stuck in that freaky, frumpy, "I just look bloated and fat" stage and I'm sick of it. I didn't really have it with the twins--I just went from nothing to huge in a couple of weeks--and I forgot how nasty it is. Sorry to everyone that has to see me on a semi-daily basis in the same two rotated outfits that are the only comfortable things I have to wear. I may just go pick up a few jumbo muumuus to throw on everyday.
6. I'm in the middle of a frustrating situation with my neighbor--whom I've never met. Let's just say I'm basically her kid's childcare everyday from 3-6 while she's at work. And every morning from 6:45 until the bus comes for the kids at 7:05. And yes, he rings the doorbell and wakes the little kids if they happen, by miracle, to still be sleeping. Have I mentioned I've never met the mom? More on that later. I'm trying to give myself a few days to calm down and figure out what I'm gonna do.

Helpful tips of the day:
1. Don't try to alleviate your throbbing sinus headache with your cold, sweating water bottle unless you make sure the lid is all the way on first. Especially if you're driving down the road at 60 mph.
2. Don't try to explain to two three year olds how the suction tubes at the bank work. It will blow their minds and you will end up wanting to blow your head off.
3. Don't ring my doorbell before 7 am unless I'm expecting you. It won't be a pretty sight when I open the door.
4. When mom's in the shower, hide the foam swords or dad will encourage evil, violent, and possibly racist behavior. Case in point:



Happy Monday. I'm off to chauffeur Alex to baseball practice. That is, of course, after he runs around the house shoving his nasty crotch cup in everyone's face as they shriek and scream in disgust instead of actually getting dressed. People keep telling me I'll miss these years when they're all grown up. I'm pretty confident that I'll never miss getting a stinky cup shoved under right my nose by surprise. Never ever.