Thursday, May 20, 2010

Ramblings: I just don't know what they're trying to tell me...

Question of the day:

Why did Amazon pick this item as one of the few "chosen especially for" me?

While I do shave my legs everyday because of my intense stubble hatred, my back is not really a problem area. Although I really do appreciate the company's efforts at trying to eliminate the problem of those unsightly furry-backed dudes running around. Now if only that particular dude would raise his arm about 2 feet and give himself a much needed mullet trim. His long, fluffy hair's not even cut straight in the back. Groom yourself, man!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Ramblings: Maternity Gear

I may be ordering one of these today:

I like the attitude of the last one. I'm ornery when I'm pregnant, why shouldn't my clothes be...?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Ramblings: Barf stinks, in case you were wondering

Back to the doctor this afternoon with all the ninos--about the fourth time in a month.
Maddie's left ear is infected this time, as well as a sinus infection, and massive allergies.
Three weeks ago it was her right ear.
Left with two prescriptions.
While climbing in the car, Avery excited, pointed out he had left footprints.
Spotting a pile of something next to the car, I absentmindedly assumed it was just a puddle--it had rained last night.
Halfway home I almost have to pull over because of the stink.
Avery had been leaving barf footprints.
Someone else's barf. His footprints.
Someone else's barf stunk up the car for the next 2 hours.
On the way home from the doctor, we had to take Alex to piano lessons.
An hour later, we stopped to pick up the prescriptions along with a 15 minute wait.
Despite the windows open, shoes wrapped and hidden in the back, and the AC pumping, the entire car still reeked like death.
Before leaving the pharmacy drive thru, I opened Maddie's antibiotic to smell it and make sure it was flavored.
She's an ornery toot about bad tasting medicine.
The three second whiff of any aroma other than barf quickly flooding the car caused Maddie to scream from the back seat, "What is that wonderful smell? It smells like STRAWBERRIES!"
I guess it was flavored after all.
Lesson: Don't step in puddles. Just assume all puddles to be barf. Someone else's barf.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Ramblings: Funny for a Monday

Funniest thing I've seen in awhile:

A 50+ year old guy riding one of these:

while pushing one of these:
 while shopping at:

Seriously--is that really necessary? At first I thought maybe he had some sort of physical impairment that would require the use of a segway, or at least make it easier for him to move quickly around the store. Nope--I don't think so. Cuz you should've seen him hopping on and off that thing to grab things from the freezers and shelves. My question is: Do you strap the segway to the back of your car? Or does it fold up somehow to make itself more portable? Because if that thing is as heavy and awkward as it looks, hauling it to Costco to push around a cart of bulk items seems like far more trouble than it's worth.