Dear Polly Pocket (and friends),
As much as one member of this household has enjoyed your company over the past couple of years, I have lost my patience with you and all your tiny rubber tube socks, skirts, and impossibly miniature high heels. You have overstayed your welcome, mostly because you are a hopeless slob--leaving your belongings strewn around every inch of the house.
Oh, and before I forget to mention, I stepped on your pet poodle in the dark yesterday and had to bite through my lip to avoid screaming in utter agony. (She didn't survive the accident, I'm sad to report.)
If you fail to heed this eviction notice, I will continue--and become increasingly vigilant about--sucking up you, your friends, and the contents of your pink and purple Fashion Star Dream Closet with my incredibly robust Dyson vacuum....who shall heretoforth be known as "The Exterminator."
You've had your warning, now pack up and TAKE A HIKE! (You own a huge turquoise jumbo jet, for heaven's sake!)