Monday, September 22, 2008

Rant: Anti-Tiny Plastic Women

Dear Polly Pocket (and friends),

As much as one member of this household has enjoyed your company over the past couple of years, I have lost my patience with you and all your tiny rubber tube socks, skirts, and impossibly miniature high heels. You have overstayed your welcome, mostly because you are a hopeless slob--leaving your belongings strewn around every inch of the house.

Oh, and before I forget to mention, I stepped on your pet poodle in the dark yesterday and had to bite through my lip to avoid screaming in utter agony. (She didn't survive the accident, I'm sad to report.)

If you fail to heed this eviction notice, I will continue--and become increasingly vigilant about--sucking up you, your friends, and the contents of your pink and purple Fashion Star Dream Closet with my incredibly robust Dyson vacuum....who shall heretoforth be known as "The Exterminator."

You've had your warning, now pack up and TAKE A HIKE! (You own a huge turquoise jumbo jet, for heaven's sake!)

Sincerely,
Me

6 comments:

The Lowe Family said...

i feel this same way about lego. i'm copying and pasting your letter and sending it to all the lego who live here.

Deanna said...

So this is a hint to the world...don't buy Maddie any more Polly Pockets for gifts?

I agree with you. I think they should make them without the shoes. They are useless and only disappoint my girls when they come running for help and even I can't get them to stay on the mini feet. What kind of crazy person thought tiny shoes would be a good idea? Not to mention the necklaces and bracelets.

Poopsy Doopsy said...

What are Polly Pockets? My daughter is only one year old and so apparently, I shouldn't purchase any for her! However, I do know about legos!!! In fact, I threatend to throw them in the garbage tonight if I stepped on one more. I feel the same animosity towards them as you do towards this Polly Pocket creature (and friends).

Shaela said...

I'm impressed that you narrowed it down to one toy. Two nights ago I sat in the living room (that I had cleaned spotlessly the day before) and threatened to walk through the entire house and throw any and all toys not in their place into a big garbage bag which would then be relegated to places unknown...

Larman Family said...

We are doomed forever. These are Sara's all time favorite toy! I completely share your frustration, but since she plays for hours with the tiny monsters I keep letting her have more even though it drives Jason nuts!

Travis and Jamie Shepherd said...

So do you think that your Mom felt the same way about your Charmkin collection? Atleast I remember YOU having the huge Charmkin collection that I coveted as a kid. That and the Barbies and the My Little Ponies....