Thursday, January 28, 2010

Ramblings: When you wish upon an electrician

The kid has been HOUNDING me for weeks. There's no other way to describe his obsessive pestering about the outdoor fan that has been sitting in storage in the garage until today. Since the minute he recognized the new box on one of the shelves out there, I've explained to him no less than thirty times what it is, where it's going, when it's going up,  and why we don't need to build it yet. Every day he questions me about whether today's the day the new fan is going in.

So guess how excited he was when I picked him up for preschool and said, "Avery. Guess who's at our house? Someone putting up the new fan outside..." He screamed, "WHOO-HOO" and then let me strap him in his car seat faster than ever before. That's saying something--lately it's been a game of chase around the minivan until he eventually ends up giggling and squished in the farthest corner where he knows that I can't reach him without heaving my gigantic bootie all the way into the back of the van to yank him out of hiding.
And he hasn't left his post by the window since he's gotten home. I lectured him for 8 minutes about why he better not touch the light switches on the wall right next to him that the electrician is accessing from the outside to install the fan. "Do you want to shock the man and give him big ouchies so he can't put up the fan?  No? DON'T TOUCH THOSE SWITCHES THEN." It doesn't help the electrocution threat that it's pouring rain outside and has been for most of the day.

So it was really fun when 1/2 hour into the job, the guy said that he needed a longer extension for the fan or the blades would hit the beams. I got to haul everyone to Lowe's in the pouring rain through end-of-day school traffic and three school zones, through the puddle-ridden parking lot in a downpour, and to the fan section. Luckily they had what we needed and we were back in about 1/2 hour. I should've left the guy something to do--like some odd jobs around the house to keep him busy while we were gone.

And when I sat down to type this, I realized I hadn't seen Aidan in a few minutes. So being a diligent mom, I sent Alex to find him. And when he did and started screaming,  I expected to find Aidan covered in blood or something. No blood, but pretty bad. Let's explore this disaster area.
(He's not going to be in any of these pictures because he's sitting in timeout. He's not allowed to see me take pictures of his naughtiness, because to the boys, taking a picture means it's funny. This was most definitely not funny.)

Let's examine some of the ingredients in this disgusting concoction. 
Here we have my perscription Nasonex that I paid about $60 bucks for. It was about 1/2 full--now empty. My brand new makeup remover, it was full to the brim. Mostly gone. $20. In the background is some $18 Clinique refining lotion--about 80% full. Now there's about .08% remaining.

On this side we have my hair stuff--about $20 bucks. Gone. Toothpaste--empty. Face wash--empty, though luckily both are cheap. Mud mask--empty. Powder--1/2 gone and only 1/2 way because all the holes got clogged up with the Chi hair goo.

But what you can't see is the 10 makeup products that I discovered at the bottom when I drained the cesspool.  2 of my new liquid makeup bottles--gone. And he must've gone into my storage under the sink for the rest, because they were new also and now trashed. I found two little white lids but I have no idea what they belong to because I haven't found the bottles or containers they fit. I suspect one is mouthwash, but I have yet to find the empty jug. OH AIDAN-- HOW YOU MAKE MY BRAIN HURT. But you do smell pretty good now.

I had a 30 minute intermission while typing this because the electrician finished with the fan and the new outlets and wanted to have a gab fest. All while the kids were running around, screaming because we had thunder so close and loud that my front door was rattling off the hinges, and freaking out about needing flashlights and thinking they saw tornadoes. Electrician? Oblivious. Chatty. Clueless. Asked, "How many of them are there?" Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard that one. No wait, IT'S NOT.

But he's gone now and I can start screaming at them with no witnesses to call CPS. heh heh. That was my evil witch laugh. At least I won't have to hear anymore about when that darn fan is going to be put up.


Lydianne said...

Oh Aidan...if you keep that up you won't make it to your next birthday.

As you described everything that he had trashed, I just kept saying "oh no" progressively louder. You should tie him to the couch for the rest of the week...that's how long the timeout I would give would last.

brent and kashann said...

That really stinks. It's always my worst fear that I will forget and try to carry on my cosmetic bag on a flight and loose all the money that goes into that. Oooh, I would be mad. You need to compile all the twin stories of destruction together so you can read them off someday. It really is amazing how you deal.
Can't wait to see how it all turns out with the remodeling.

Jared Crookston said...

I was doing the same thing as Lydianne- Increasingly loud oh noes. Aubrey had to come and see what all the concern was about, and I got to hear progressively louder "oh my gosh"es.

Larman Family said...

Maybe your next remodel project could be a room covered with velcro from floor to ceiling and you could make them wear fleace from head to toe so that if you needed to get something done you could just lock them in there, once they got stuck then at least they couldn't hurt each other, oh wait, I am definitely underestimating their powers!

Deanna said...

OH MY!!!

Travis and Jamie said...

First of all: what booty???

Second: Trav stood over my shoulder reading and all we could do was laugh. Sister, you have got your work cut out for ya!! Good thing they are so cute. :)

Sue Anderson said...

Laura, I can't say it enough how much patience you have and how blessed you're going to be in your next life. Your boys are quite the handful.

One thing about it all, you keep us all humble and praising the Lord for our own children and mishaps, instead of having situations like yours.

Good Luck and may the Lord bless you always. For some reason, you've been blessed with these wonderful, fast thinking, trouble seeking, naked little boys. I'm also starting to think that it must come from Jermey's side of the family. It couldn't be your dad or mom's side of the family... :o)