Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Ramblings: MOVE THAT BUS (A reference for all those Extreme Home Makeover watchers)

Hurry up guys, get that concrete down. Cuz it's supposed to rain like crazy tomorrow and then snow on Friday. I was getting a little too comfortable with this 60* sunny weather.

My house smells like a chemical factory because they came yesterday and stained all the wood on the patio cover. We've all got a little buzz going from the fumes. I don't get those druggies that choose to inhale fumes from paint cans--it's not a pleasant feeling. (FYI. If you're ever forced to choose between having your house stink like bacon or wood stain fumes, go with bacon everytime.)

I took this from between the slats of the kitchen blinds--I felt like I was doing covert spy surveillance...or maybe I just felt like a reverse Peeping Tom. Luckily are windows are a bit mirrored from the outside so they couldn't see my giant camera pointed at them. However, it would've been awesome if they would have seen me and started doing funny poses. Too bad.

While they were here staining on Tuesday, I had them restain the kids swing and tree house--better known as the boys' platform for nude chitchatting with the neighbor girls.  Gotta keep their place lookin' nice for the ladies. Now if I can just get them to keep their undies on. The boys. Not the guys working on the stain. That would be a different issue altogether. Naked Home Repair Service--an interesting idea for those weirdos out there looking for a cheap thrill. (Have you seen that Seinfeld where they talk about the things you never want to see someone doing if they're naked? Like coughing. Or struggling to open a stuck jar lid. Too true. I think I'd add staining a swingset. Or hammering pretty much anything.)

And later today the mystery of what colors I ended up choosing for the concrete will be me and everyone else.  They're coming in on their snowmobiles Friday to seal the concrete--which supposedly changes the colors a bit. Meanwhile, I've started painting  a variety of samples on the exercise room walls to decide what color to repaint in this weekend. Jeremy gets nervous now whenever I start a sentence with "I really want to..." Cuz lately it's involved recarpeting, reorganizing, rearranging furniture, redecorating, pretty much add re- to any verb that requires alot of physical effort, straining and the herniation of a variety of body parts, and of course $$.

Plus, he really DETESTS painting. Hates it. With a passion that burns deep to his soul. And he gets cranky. Cranky like a two year old three hours past naptime. Make that a hungry two year old three hours past naptime. That you are refusing to feed a bite of the ice cream cone that you're licking right in his face. Cranky. So I'll do the painting and he'll do the kid duty. No brainer for me. But that means I'll spend my time after I get done painting putting the rest of the house back together.

I just answered the door for the UPS man and he handed me this box--its contents revealing the obsession that's overtaken Jeremy's mind since we decided to redo the patio. Make sure you read the subtitle on that book--otherwise it sounds awkwardly scandalous. Luckily today's box was little. I've been told to expect a much larger, heavier one in the next couple of days. I'm a little worried.

My website surfing has involved a MORE important necessity for the patio. Seating. A table. You know, stuff you have to have BEFORE you invite 10 people over for a BBQ next weekend. Not that Jeremy realized that. Apparently we're all supposed to stand, encircling his new smoker and holding our plates in awe, marveling at its ability to produce such delectable meats.  With the toxic stench of freshly applied stain burning through our nostrils and melting our brain cells. No, that probably won't affect the flavor of the meat, OR WILL IT?

I've digressed. I have a small habit of that. This is the set I'm currently liking. I like that they try to reassure me by telling me it's a best seller. Like, "Hey! You're not crazy! Other people have like this enough to buy it too! Come on! Just click 'purchase' now! You're not alone." Anyway, I like that it's square. And there's no glass to clean or have one of the kids crash through, requiring tons of stitches and the possibility of gallons of blood staining the new concrete.

Gotta jet--the boys just spread an entire one of those jumbo pack of 1000 cottony, colored hair rubberbands across the living room. I think they're rebelling because we had to miss our weekly playgroup today to babysit the concrete guys.  Or not. Sometimes  Most of the time they're naughty for no reason.  I've told them they're not eating lunch til they are all picked up. They may be really, really hungry when we're standing around that smoker next weekend.

P.S. On a totally unrelated (but completely tragic) note, I picked up a huge bag of valentines conversation hearts, of course intending to eat them until I was sick. **Tragedy alert** But I couldn't eat 60% of the bag. Why, you ask? WHY? Because at least 60% of them were white. White conversation hearts? SICK! Does anyone out there like the white ones? They are the equivalent of purple Skittles of yellow Starburst. Always eaten last or if no others colors are available. Come on, Brachs candy, put out a white-free bag of conversation hearts for heaven's sake.  If you like the white ones, I got about 2 pounds I can mail you.


aubrey said...

If they're the fruity hearts then they are all gross, if they're the ones that are kind of minty I LOVE the white ones and usually pick them out and hide them from the kids...the only other ones in the bag I like enough to eat them at all are the yellow ones. But I also like purple skittles (I eat them with the green ones) and yellow Starbursts (the best ones next to pink). :)

Laura said...

you are CRAZY. red starburst, then pink. I'll save any future white hearts for you. The fruity ones are totally sick--my kids won't even eat them.

The Lowe Family said...

oh my that bag for ME. i'm pretty sure YOU'RE the weirdo in this situation. WHITE IS THE BEST.

and i like red skittles and red starbursts

aubrey said...

Thanks Jess. I'm glad to hear I am not the only one who loves them!

Deanna said...

I have to agree with Aubrey and Jessica. I like only the white ones. The pink kinda makes me feel like I'm chewing on a heart shaped pepto tablet. I like all skittles, especially the purple. Starbursts, I'm a fan of the pink...the rest make me thirsty.

It's official, you're the strange one.

Lydianne said...

I choose chocolate over any of those other candies ANY DAY.

Laura, you are doing all of the home improvements that I want to do, but I think we need to redo our fence first (totally boring but expensive house project) before it blows down.

Amy said...

Your friends are correct, white is the best. The other taste like chalk.

I'm not into segregation of skittles, I just throw them in my mouth.

I do agree, however, on the Starburst issue. Orange are last for me but Red go first then Pink. Bryan and I even fight over those and we usually end up with a pile of orange leftover.

Pamela said...

My favorite are white...skittles, I like yellow and I eat the yellow and orange starbursts first, then pink then red. Sorry, just my weird Montana upbringing...