Monday, December 1, 2008

Ramblings: A Beefy Turkey Day

My intended post about Thanksgiving that I've been mentally writing for the last several days already seems like ancient history. That's what always seems to happen right after Thanksgiving...tons of things to do in a few busy weeks and then all of a sudden it's Christmas. But I'm going to go ahead and post it because we took some funny pictures. And I managed to sneak Alex away and get one or two to update the photo wall-- so all that's left of the football of dread is the family shot, which will be the worst of all.
**As I type this I'm trying to calm heart palpitations because I've just noticed that on the corner of my giant new fabulously bright and clear Mac screen, someone (I'm guessing one of two short, trouble-making "someones") has drawn about a five inch line in blue marker. It's not coming off and I'm quite sure it was done with the blue permanent marker I hijacked yesterday from a sprinting "I know I'm busted so I'm going to run like the wind" Avery. Let's just say it's a good thing he's napping right now or he'd be getting the business.**

Anyway, we spent Thanksgiving at my parents house this year. Apparently my mom wanted to replace all of her fragile decor with new stuff and she knew the best way to justify this was to have the twins over and break anything and everything in sight. Or she wanted to see if their new treadmill was really capable of killing several small children. Verdict on that--almost. The small children were a bit closer to killing the treadmill by hanging, swinging, and chucking things at it.

Before dinner, we took the herd out to see a herd of a different species at my parents' ranch. The older kids have been out there alot, but it was the first time the little boys were old enough to be amazed by all the horseys and cows. Once they were convinced the animals weren't trying to eat them for Thanksgiving dinner, they thought it was a pretty fun deal. The weather was a perfect 70 degrees so it was a great day to be outside.

They even got to ride in the back of Grandpa's truck on some hay bales--Aidan liked to "fly" in the wind. Avery was, of course, annoyed by the wind.
As we were driving on some back roads to the gate entrance, Maddie spotted this utility shed and got all excited.."Are we going over to that baby house over there?!" I think she imagined it was full of new toys and hot chocolate with warm cookies or something.

We drove though the pastures to see all the animals and check on some of the mama cows that were due to have their babies soon. All four kids were mostly impressed by the amount of cow pies that were everywhere. Aidan just kept pointing at the cows and screaming, "He have POOP on him!" He was probably just excited to think that someone other than Avery and himself liked to lounge around in their own feces.

The kids and Grandpa made the most giant bottle ever to feed to a little orphaned calf. Aidan LOVED this little guy--he didn't want to leave his side. He just kept rubbing his head and getting really close to him to chat (probably about the best products to remove those stubborn poop stains). Avery was not too interested in the animals, but all the fun fences and gates and other death traps were much more entertaining. He was having a staring contest with a mama cow from his perch.

This picture of Alex was him explaining why he was a bit nervous to let the slobbery calf suck on his finger like Grandpa kept trying to convince him to--he didn't like the chance that he'd be riding back home with one less finger than he came with, even though he watched three other people do it just fine.

Do you think CPS would have a problem with me installing one of these inside of my house? (FYI for non-cowboys: this is the place where you run the cow in and the gate closes behind them and you can squeeze 'em really tight with the sides. Their head sticks out and they can't move around so you can give them shots or whatever.) 
I promise I wouldn't squeeze them too tight--I mainly just need it for caging purposes.

Avery was reading my mind and refused to stand in it on the off chance (or quite probable chance) that I wouldn't ever let him out.It was a little overwhelming for all the kids when we walked back to get in the truck and most of a herd had gathered around waiting to bite their faces off. Just joking, cows. Stop sending me hate emails! They just know the truck usually means chow time so they were anxiously optimistic that these little miniature cowboy-wannabes were going to offer them some grub. No luck unless they were able to find the five or six handfuls of hay the boys chucked into the wind for them. Alex told me I should try to sell my cow pictures to Chick-fil A. (I told you he's always trying to think of ways to make money.) But do you think they'd send me free salad coupons in exchange?

Jeremy got the awesome job of locking and unlocking the gates that my brothers refer to with a very naughty name--hmm, let's just say it rhymes with Gate Witch. We let Avery take a few rounds on the four wheelers before calling it quits on the ranch. We wanted to give the kids every possible opportunity to maim or disfigure themselves before we left.

And in the barn, Alex was once again reminded that we are the only people on the face of the whole entire earth that don't own a dog. And the fact that we don't makes mom PURE EVIL. And then when he asked what kind of dog Rufus was, the "hound" reply led to a "Where the Red Fern Grows" reference, and then the plot summary was almost enough to make Alex start crying right there on top of poor Rufus. I'm guessing watching it won't be on our "to-do" list anytime soon.

And if the other family pictures don't turn out, we may just send out this very, very redneck version. And then we checked everyone's shoes for cow poop and loaded up to go home so we could stuff our faces for about 20 minutes on a meal that took about 20 hours to prepare. (I'm starting to think it might not be worth it---all that cooking and dish cleaning for 20 minutes of eating. Seems like if we ordered pizza and focused our baking efforts on the dessert portion of the meal, it'd be much more enjoyable.)

Whilst the men unbuttoned their pants in front of the football game and the women finished the dishes (why is that always the case?!), the big kids made some Perler bead ornaments. They got really into it and Alex was so proud of the Christmas tree he made---that is, until he tried to show Uncle Greg who thought they were already stuck together and wrecked the whole thing. Alex just started screaming "Get started. Get started--you have to fix it!" and then he ran out. So guilt-ridden Greg used his freshly-completed college degree in Perler-bead design to spell out ALEX inside the ornament. All was forgiven...but I did not post the next picture where Greg was covertly raising his middle finger in my general direction because I was harassing him about taking over the kids' craft project.We had a great time and a very thankful Thanksgiving. Sorry that was a novel--but my memory's failing in my old age and I wanted to journal it so I have a chance of remembering it in the future. We hope everyone was also able to enjoy their Turkey Day with friends and family.

Alex's 8th birthday is on Thursday, so I'll be posting sooner than later...


Kimball & Marianne Larsen said...

Did you find the solution to the blue writing on your screen? I came downstairs one day to find black SHARPIE scribbled ALL OVER THE SCREEN! I panicked. Kimball was gone at the time and all I could think was, "Where can I buy a new Mac and replace this one before he gets home in order to save Jaxon's life?!"

Anyhow, try Rubbing Alcohol. Ours came off without any residue or smearing. Awesome. And Jaxon gets to live...

The Lowe Family said... me and tell me where you got that brown sweater vest for Alex. We're doing family pics in fall colors and that would be PERFECT for the boys...

second...I know for a FACT that cps wouldn't mind u having a kid squeezer because I have three of them and they were at my house when cps did my homestudy. I think thats why we GOT miah was because of the squeezer. It lets them know you have "control"

third..this post should be called, "showing off my parents fun house because they have everythign imagineably fun for kids there". My kids would be in heaven it looks SOO beautiful and fun. Even if you have to be the gate "witch"

Kris said...

I'm with Jessica, I think that looks like the funnest house ever. What a fun place for a bunch of kids. And by the way, I often heard Jeremy referred to as that even when he's not at the farm.

At my mom's side of the family's house, it is the men's job to clean up the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner. I am not sure how that tradition started, but it still doesn't seem fair after 20 hours of cooking. Luckily, we went to Arkansas and my dad's side of the family.

This was a great post. And the "redneck picture" is a great one!

aubrey said...

Redneck or not the picture looks great, and at least no one is screaming this year...

Rubbing alcohol should work, if not try hairspray.