Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ramblings: Tuesday Shmoozeday


1. THIS is the baby that we got installed yesterday, as opposed to any real or future baby that you may have been thinking needed "installing." (Or is Jessica the only perv out there?)

Ahhh! It's so shiny and bright...like a new penny. Too bad one stinkin' lodged penny ended up costing us 16,900 pennies. But at least we didn't have to pay the ridiculous $150 installation charge because I nagged Jeremy into doing it. He likes to say that I don't think he can manage stuff like that because I think he's "too much of an idiot" to figure it out (his words, not mine). I've never said that--what I said is that he is perfectly capable of handling household handyman tasks, but he HATES to do them so much that I have to bug him to death, and then he gets really grouchy during the whole experience. So he usually just tells me to hire someone to do it. He's got the brains (we're not still paying off those Harvard Law loans for nuthin'), but not the heart for it.

Luckily, the installation was fairly simple and didn't take too long and now I don't have to scrape and dump everything into the trashcan. Kudos to Jeremy for getting it put in there-I KNEW you could do it. We lived all three years in Cambridge during law school in our tiny, "historic"(which translates into really old), dang expensive townhouse without a garbage disposal or dishwasher. I'm glad those appliance-less days are behind us and I'd like to keep them that way.

2. Sunday Jeremy was out playing in the backyard with the kids enjoying the 72* weather when I heard him start screaming. Like PAIN screaming. Like women giving birth in movies kind of screaming. Or how you might scream if you came out and saw your car had been backed into and all smashed up and the person didn't even leave a note. Crazy, nutjob screaming.

Anyway, he has an ankle that he is constantly spraining and he hurt it again a couple of weeks ago in a basketball game. Well, Sunday night he fell into a little hole by the swing set and twisted it again. Hence the screaming. And thrashing. And hobbling around the yard swinging a short, plastic wiffle ball bat in the air at 90 mph. Mixed with some whimpering. And rage. And more bat swinging. And then he came to the porch and smashed the bat on top of the kids' octopus sprinkler that was still set up from the last time they used it.

The giant inflatable head immediately collapsed into a limp little pile of octopus. The kids were freaking out--not about Jeremy or his already swelling ankle or about his weird pain/rage routine around the backyard. They were freaking that Dad had smashed their favorite sprinkler with a wiffle ball bat. So I came out and said, "Guys--instead of worrying about the sprinkler, why don't you find out if Dad is ok?" To which Maddie replied with a huge pouty face, "Cuz we really LOVE that sprinkler." Take that Dad.

3. Today I'm thankful. Thankful to have a working garbage disposal again. Thankful for a few days of really awesome weather where we can play outside. Thankful that the big kids got invited to go swimming at a friends after school to burn off some extra energy. But mostly thankful that Aidan made it to the toilet this morning before puking.

He's been struggling off and on for the past few days with an upset stomach and barf issues and today he woke up complaining again with a fever. I can always tell something's up with that kid when he won't eat. He is ALWAYS eating. But the past few days he hasn't really eaten much of anything. This morning he wandered around with the only thing he wanted--a sippy of water--until all the sudden he said what he always says, "I'm bout to throw up!" But here's the BEST PART. He ran into the bathroom and did it in the toilet! I was happier about that than I would've been if both of the boys were instantly potty trained.

I HATE BARF. I hate cleaning it. I hate smelling it. I hate doing it. I even hate seeing someone else doing it. I am, and I've always been, a sympathy barfer. If I am anywhere in a 50 foot radius of someone throwing up, my gag reflex kicks in, and I find myself fighting back the barf. It's really horrible when you're trying to help your sick kids while they're throwing up, and then you start throwing up on top of them. Not a very cool mom-of-the-year move. But let's face it, I'm not on any short lists for mom-of-the-year, with or without vomit.

He's doing better as of this afternoon. The fever seems to have gone away and he hasn't thrown up anymore today. He's even asking for rice, so that's a positive sign. Maybe he's just nervous to see the finalists on American Idol perform tonight.

4. It looks like a plumber showed up after all!Normally, I would advise JUST SAY NO TO CRACK. Unless it's cute like this crack, and then it just makes me laugh.

The boys designed their very own waterpark last week when the temperatures started heating up. They put their spraying mat at the end of their little slide that they had watered down with the hose. Then to make it even more death defying, they filled the splash mat with a variety of balls. Except now because of the extra speed the water added, Aidan's too scared to slide down it without me holding his hand. Perhaps there's no chance of any future in the Summer Olympics for that kid.

5. These last two weeks of school are going to be nutty with all the awards ceremonies, class parties, PE performances, field day, and other assorted end-of-year chaos. And I'm going to feel HUGELY guilty that even though they want and expect me there for everything, everything tends to be scheduled smack dab in the middle of the boys' naptime. And my possible babysitters are in school themselves in the middle of the day, so unless I skip the naps and take the boys with me, (which would defeat the purpose of going cuz I'd be out in the hall with two crazy, crying, cranky boys) then I'm forced to disappoint the older kids and make them cry. And then they will assure me that I am indeed the very worst mother in the whole entire world. Ever. Across every country and continent in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, I am the suckiest mother of them all.

I'm going to have to pick and choose my activity attendance carefully. They get jealous if I go to more of the other kid's stuff then theirs. Does anyone else have this problem? I wish locking the kids in the car watching a DVD was a safe and socially acceptable solution in a babysitting pinch. Jeez--I'd crack the windows, I'm not totally irresponsible.

6. I ordered pizza tonight because I didn't feel like cooking. Plus I got started reorganizing my kitchen cupboards after we emptied the one under the sink for repairs, so most of my counters are filled with JUNK and I'm nowhere near being finished. And the dude should be here any minute, so ta-ta on that note!


The Lowe Family said...

AM i the only dirty one? ok..i really am. nevermind.

i wish i could have seen this show jeremy put on. i love when austin puts on shows like that and then he gets mad if i ask if he's okay. he says he "just wants to get it out so leave me alone!!" whatever...so i just laugh.

i'm the suckiest mother too. i did everything for him in Kindergarten, i was the freakin kindergarten coordinator for cryin out loud over ALL the K classes. i haven't done jack crap for Kora and i feel bad but i got like 20 kids i'd have to bring with me...and they always stress, "NO SIBLINGS" at every party or event so WTC?! they want help but dont? sorry...this is a hot topic for me.

Marnie said...

So I was laughing so hard that I was crying reading about poor Jeremy's "episode". Oh, and the octopus....still laughing as I am typing....wish you could have secretly taped it.

I agree about the activities. It is so hard to balance everything and feel like you are giving enough to everyone. Those naps are important too! My hope is that they won't remember the random "Muffins with Mom" that you just couldn't squeeze into your day...

Anonymous said...

oh... we have been doing the puking thing at our house for about a week now... with two out of the three kids... buckets of fun i tell 'ya... and there is nothing abnormal about sympathy puking... the week started with porter in my lap vomiting all over me... i thought i was going to die. i couldn't move and all i could do was focus on not breathing... luckily mike had just walked in the door from work and was able to save my life... oh the joys of motherhood!