Ramblings: Green thumbs, naked bums and MORE POOP

1. Yesterday was hot. Today is hot. Over 90* of hotness. And the rest of this week is supposed to be hot. Like summertime hot. I'm not ready for this. "This" meaning entertaining the four crazies all day long in the Texas summertime heat without a pool in the backyard. But anyway...if there are any blogstalkers out there that also happen to build pools, I wouldn't be opposed to an anonymous "donation" to my backyard. Just something to think about.

A few days ago I picked up as many flowers and plants as I could strategically jam into our two-shopping carts and yesterday the boys and I spent all morning planting them. And by "we," I mean that I tried to plant them and the boys made it their mission to dump as much dirt on me as possible while I was in the defenseless planting pose. Nothing like soil down your drawers and in your hair when you're already hot and sweaty. They LOVED all the earthworms we dug up and squealed with delight each and every time they saw a wiggly, squirmy, recently chopped in half little worm body. All the big pots around the house got new things planted in them for me to kill over the summer...although if you will take note--my wisteria from last year is still alive and THRIVING. whoo hoo.


Eventually I convinced them it was fun to put the plants in the holes I was digging, so that became their job. I really, really hope the little new plants survive after being squeezed, dropped, fought over, and basically mutilated before they made it into the safety of their worm-ridden holes. When they grew tired of that, we started watering all the plants and bushes that made it into the ground. Within about 3 seconds flat the boys were naked and running around in front of me screaming "Spray me. Spray me."
What person in her right mind (or not) can refuse that request? So the plants got watered and the naked bums were blasted into submission with the water hose. And all my neighbors got a creepy pedophile peep show. And I didn't get pictures of the naked water fest because 1) I was covered in dirt and water 2) I couldn't leave the naked dorkos out in the front yard alone to go fetch the camera--they are notorious for wandering down the street and 3) I figured at some point they'd gain control of the camera and/or hose if I looked away and it would get sprayed into submission, too. But I caught this one when we went out later to clean up and Avery had only managed to get a dry shirt and diaper back on. Nice pantless wolverine.

2. (WARNING: AVERT YOUR EYES IF YOU ARE FAINTHEARTED OR IF YOU POSSESS A STRONGER THAN AVERAGE GAG REFLEX)

Trivia question of the day: Did the potty seat fail Aidan, or did Aidan fail the potty seat?

OH BROTHER. I found Aidan sitting by the basket of shoes, calmly trying some on (naked from the waist down). So I ask him what he's doing and why he's naked. "I just pooped mom, come see." So I'm congratulating him, saying "wow, great job! You haven't pooped in your pull-ups for about three weeks. You're a big boy!"

And then I see this. This mess. This absolute wrongness. This poopoo catastrophe.

"Aidan--what happened in here?"

"Yeah, my poop didn't get in the toilet. I tried to make it. Maybe next time. Tomorrow. Gimme my jelly beans now?"

Keep in mind, he has to slide down off that potty seat because the toilet is really tall. Now imagine what his backside looked like. And remember...?...he was sitting on the carpet trying on shoes. I've had a busy hour de-pooping around here. So long pristine new toilet of a few months ago...

3. The awesome ledge shelf that we hung above Alex's bed awhile finally had it's run in with the twins. Aidan, in particular. He naps in Alex's bed because Alex is at school most days and he and Avery would NEVER fall asleep if in the same room for naps. Nighttime, they do fine. They barely even make a sound once they've been put to bed. But naptime is a different story altogether. So Aidan's been sleeping in there for months without any incidents....until Sunday. (I blame it on that new 3 PM church time. It's evil.) We hear this huge crash about 10 minutes after we put him down for his nap and go up to find a chunk missing from the wall and the shelf and cars lying in a heap on the floor. I'm guessing he was trying to see how many chin-ups he could do???
The before:

The after(math)

I managed to capture a common occurrence when I was snapping the photo of the wall damage. The boys piled into the bed and then proceeded to have a hair pulling extravaganza. Aidan may have started it, but Avery finished it.

At least they can't reach the license plate collection. It's coming along nicely. But we still have a bunch to go...

4. Aidan has had a busy day. He wanted to watch a dvd this morning so he tried to help himself. Or he tried to take apart the tv stand. I can't really tell. There were splintered pieces of wood and a couple of bent screws lying around the door. This is what I found right before he ran and hid in the drapes behind the couch--his favorite place to hide when he's about to get busted for something. He got the THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS lecture, but he's heard it all before and it hasn't changed anything so it was more for me. 5. On the way home from running errands this morning I told the boys I was tired and that I needed a nap. That always gets them fired up. They think it's preposterous that a Mom would take a nap. It is because it's practically impossible, but that's a different story. I said, "You don't think moms like to take naps sometimes, too?" They both screamed "NO" and laughed like crazy drunken monkeys. Then Avery said, "Mom's don't take naps. They eat lettuce."

Well, if that's the case, then I really, really, really need to eat lettuce.