Monday, October 13, 2008

Ramblings: True Randomness

* Luke Brown owes me an explanation as to 1) how he apparently runs his own watermelon farm at the age of 14 (?) and 2) why my watermelon was NOT tasty, and definitely not as tasty as I would have expected from someone willing to put a giant face sticker on each one. Were those comments welcomed? Doubt it.

*Yesterday we had our stake conference at church (or a sort of regional meeting with about 10 congregations all meeting together). I was determined to be on time since parking and seating get a bit crazy if you're not early. (Plus, last time we had forgotten about daylight savings and we thought we were on time, but we were actually an hour late. Embarrassing, but kind of nice because the kids only had to sit for an hour).

Anyway, I got everything ready, snacks and activities packed, and everyone's clothes ironed the night before so we could get there before nine. We live about 40 minutes from the building where it's held, and we were so proud of ourselves when we realized we were pulling in 10 minutes early. Oh wait, there are only two other cars in the parking lot...that can't be right, can it? NO! IT WAS NOT RIGHT. Turns out we were 10 minutes early for the CHOIR practice, and an hour and 10 minutes early for the conference. We were already facing two straight hours in metal folding chairs with four bored kids, and another unnecessary hour seemed unbearable. Luckily, we found a new, clean playground about a block away and we let them run and play before we headed back at 10. Hair and clothes: not so neat and tidy as before, but at least we found something to do to burn an hour. Moral of the story: Don't trust Jeremy when he tells you he knows what time something starts, or don't plan to be on time--it just backfires one way or another.

*No!, we do not own a cat. (Nor will we ever--they freak me out like nothing else. They're always lurking around, ready to pounce at any second and scratch your eyeballs out.) But I've found a great use for the cat door leading into the garage because I'm getting lazier and the poops are getting stinkier. Much, much stinkier. After we change them, we just say "Go stick it in the hole" and they take off running with it. I had to make Aidan do this about three times because he kept shooting the diaper through there at 90 mph, which is obviously alot faster than my reflexes with the camera. He thought it was a pretty fun game. And yeah, I see it's time to wash down the garage side of this door.

*That leads me to the next item--corn diapers. Anyone that has kids or has been anywhere within 10 feet of a kid with a corn diaper can understand what I'm talking about here. Is there anything nastier than changing a poop diaper after your two year old's feast the night before of a GIANT bowl of corn? I'm not a poop wimp by any means (barf wimp, yes, but not poop) but even I was gagging after changing both boys this morning. SICK.

* The boys' corn feast occurred last night at dinner when we were feeding the missionaries from our church. It was, as always, an eventful meal and I'm pretty sure they will just scratch our names off the sign up sheet the next time I volunteer to feed them. First, Aidan kept running around screaming about having"ouchy boogers" that were hurting his nose. I had to interrupt the meal twice to extract the ouchy boogers--which is not an easy task with adult size fingers in a tiny kid nostril. Then the boys started slowly stripping items of clothing off and screaming "me wanna be NAKED" over and over. Lovely.

Then when Alex went to refill the pitcher of water, the ice dispenser on the front of the fridge got stuck. He was screaming and ice was shooting everywhere and breaking into pieces as it hit the floor. No one could figure out why he wouldn't just let go, so it had been stuck for awhile before I got to it and unjammed it. After I cleaned that up, he tried to fill it with water from the same dispenser (I was booger extracting or I think I would've been monitoring this more closely) and it stuck again. Water was shooting out and overflowing down the fridge and all over the floor. Plus, I was still ticked at the $6 I wasted on Luke Brown's bland melon.

After the crazy dinner was over, Jeremy left to drive them home and the boys went out in the backyard to play. I was cleaning up when I look out the window by the kitchen and see the boys COMPLETELY NAKED sliding down their slide. (I'm just guessing that sliding down a plastic slide naked in 85 degree heat can't feel very good. Am I going out on a limb here?) The worst part was that Avery had pooped before removing his diaper. I'll leave it at that--but it wasn't pretty. At least the corn hadn't made its appearance yet.

And I'm going to have to reorder the push pad for the dispenser on the fridge and hope that i can figure out how to replace it without spending a ridiculous amount to have some dude and his buttcrack come exchange it. (I think they bill their time separately--guy: 1.5 hours; nasty buttcrack: 1.5 hours; total: 3 hours).

*On a happier note, when I went to fill up my mom-mobile today after pumpkin shopping, this was the price blinking on the pump. WhooHoo. Now I can drive to Sonic three times a day with less guilt about how much gas I'm wasting.

*We'll be carving up our pumpkins tonight with the hopes that they don't rot (again) before Halloween. So, which jack o'lantern should I pick? I'll just tell you that I may pick the one that will induce Jeremy's panic attack/brain aneurysm in under 3 seconds when sees it. Is it wrong that I like to harass him so much?

(Ok. Gimme a break, like I'm skilled enough to do either of these...or have that much free time.) But I have decided what face I'll be carving in my "punkin" tonight. Does the name Luke Brown ring a bell? Comments Welcome!!


Deanna said...

I predict a blog about nasty rotten pumpkins in the future.

Tom & Jen Loveland Family said...

Haven't met you but I'm Jeremy's cousin (He probably remembers me as Jenny). I just want to say I love your blog. Very fun.

The Lowe Family said...

ur gonna have rottens is about a week. never carve until the week OF halloween dork.

tell jeremy that mccain is in my neck of the woods and i am NOT going to go tell him that jeremy says hi.

Kris said...

Did you also notice that no one from our ward was at that morning session? Great story about the corn poop, I look forward to it. I wondered why the missionaries didn't mention anything about their dinner from the night before on the way to conference. Did Pres. Ward share the story about your dad at the morning session?

Try to incorporate the rotting pumpkin into your carving theme. It accentuates the scariness of your carving. So do the maggots and flies that it will attract.

Laura said...

We were trying to be strategic sneaking to the earlier session so thing 1 n 2 could still nap at 1:00 and we weren't the only sneakies...hello Parkers!

Laura said...

Oh, and the only reason I caved about doing the pumpkins so early is that i've been getting nonstop harrassed and i can't handle it anymore. I'll just chuck em next week and put out my fake ones again.

Ciana said...

We always enjoy feeding the missionaries at our house. I don't think we have quite the drama but pretty close. We are always sure to put Jacob in between the missionaries otherwise he gets upset that he doesn't get to dominate the conversation. And truthfully we are just glad that he has someone else to talk to about the musings of his brain.

Travis and Jamie Shepherd said...

I'm with ya on corn poo. Actually any poo that resembles the meal the night before is way too much for me to handle. I think that I need a "Poop"door. Way to be useful!