Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Ramblings: Beg Your Pardon

I beg your pardon. I've disappeared for quite some time. I'd like to say I was off doing something  incredible--climbing a mountain, getting my pilot's license, participating in Amazing Race, or even getting a pedicure.  Sadly, none of those are true (much to my little piggies displeasure). I've gotten swamped with Valentines Day, tons of snow, sicknesses, parties, forgetting to call people on their birthdays (HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD AND KASHANN!), basketball games, pinewood derby cars, plumbers that stand me up, finally upgrading the minivan with the nub of a rear windshield wiper, making cakes for auctions, speaking in church (gag), eating my 2 boxes of recently delivered Thin Mints, and many other assorted activities that leave me ZERO time to sit and chat with you.

Not that I even have time now--I've supposed to be getting ready to take the boys to storytime at the library for our weekly playgroup. Just to shrink away in (loud) humiliation after about 20 minutes because Avery won't stop climbing the bookshelves or dismantling the rolling book carts. That kid has been my biggest challenge of the four. Constant motion, constant whining, constant trouble. It's a good thing he says something really funny every now and then.

I had a great picture to share with you for my return since inexplicably dropping off the face of the earth. But here's the catch--it's on my iphone. And everyone and anyone that's every tried to call or text me when I'm not actually riding in my car knows that my iphone has a permanent spot in my car. I hate to break it to everyone, but I don't bring it in the house with me, hauling it to and fro like Gollum securing his precious ring. (Man, looking at that creepy little guy makes me feel better about myself.)  I'm not usually that important--no such life-threatening, pressing matters that I need to be reached when I'm trying to pee. Plus, then the boys would find it and I would never see it again. At least until the plumber-that-never-shows-up finally showed up and snaked it out of the toilet.   So back to the problem--the funny picture is going to stay in the car until I get home from the library. And then I'll bring it in with me and let you share in the funny.

And on a totally unrelated note:

It still freaks me out when someone calls me "ma'am." I've been called far worse over my lifetime, but when the teenager bagging my groceries calls me that, I still do an inner flinch. It's not that I care about getting old--I don't. It's not that I think I look too young to be a ma'am--I don't. I have one giant gray hair in the front of my head, if you remember. And here in the South alot of kids are trained to use "ma'am" and "sir" to adults--which I love. I don't require it from mine (like I need another battle to fight), but it sure is FABULOUS when they are in total deep-doodoo and they throw a "yes ma'am" or "no ma'am" at you. It makes you feel like they're really paying attention to their wrongdoings, when in reality they probably just read your blog and know that's the fastest way out of hot water.

Tata til later.

I'm back now. And as expected, Aidan was totally and completely engrossed in storytime. Avery spent the whole time whining about leaving and trying to dig through my purse for who knows what.  But we survived and now I'm giddy because it's almost their naptime.
And here's picture I promised.
I love it. In big, bold silver letters--TURD.

I have a few questions about it though. 1) Is he self-identifying or name-calling the person reading it? 2) Where do you buy such a car decal? 3) Did it perhaps say something different and some letters popped off? STURDY? Maybe a misspelled 'Turdle'?

Jessica, this car decal is dedicated to you and your inability/unwillingness to spell "turd" correctly. As soon as I find out where to pick up a turd sign for your car, you will be receiving one to apply wherever you choose.


Kris said...

1. Your talk was great.

2. I love your kids.

3. I hate the way she spells turd. Thanks for calling her out on it.

Travis and Jamie said...

I was wondering where you went. I've had a rough two weeks and missed your crazy life to make me laugh. :O) (so meant in a good way!)

Lil Eskimo said...

i feel complete again. i was about to send out search and rescue.

Dianne Robertson Shoff said...

I've missed reading your blog! I have to admit...I'm guilty of spelling turd wrong too. Now that I know I won't be making that mistake anymore!

HunDuddle Hussy said...