Rant: That's what you call a BAD DAY

Ok. I've had time to calm down and work on my deep breathing exercises so now I can write about what a totally horrendous day yesterday turned out to be. Yeah, it's long--it's therapeutic for me to share my stress so DEAL WITH IT. Sorry. I'm still a tad cranky.

It started out innocently enough--Jeremy's sister Alainna and hubby Stephen were back with us for a couple of days and we were all getting ready to head out to go swimming. (I realized that I forgot to take any pictures while they were here--so one of their wedding ones will have to suffice.) But then Stephen came in looking like he sipped a giant cup of curdled milk. Apparently Orbitz had called to remind them of their flights back home--flights that were to depart in less than two hours. Flights that Stephen and Alainna thought were departing the next day. So they packed in a matter of 10 minutes, we threw all the kids in the car (convincing them that the "airport adventure" was going to be much more fun than swimming), jammed all their luggage in the back of my ridiculously small SUV rental car and tore off for the airport.

Seeing that we live an hour away, we were nervous that Stephen would get there in time (they were on separate flights and his was first. And I was driving a stupid rental car because I finally took my car in to get it fixed after the anonymous hit and run butthead smashed it all up). Luckily, his flight was 1/2 later than we thought, so everyone was there in plenty of time. Especially since we were OVER qualified for the HOV lane and I broke many posted speed limits getting there. But it was a fun "adventure" and the kids really got into it. About every two minutes they'd ask me if we were going to make it in time.

When we realized we had to leave for the airport, Alainna had just gotten back from a walk and playing with the kids at a playground in 90* heat. And then with all the stress of speed-packing and worrying about flights and how much stuff they probably left behind, the poor girl was a ball of sweat. So when I dropped her off, we were joking about how W.T. she was and about the lucky person that got to sit next to her for 3 hours.

By now it was nearing naptime and I had two sleepy 3 year olds I was trying to keep awake for the ride home, so we stopped for Happy Meals. I even got them milkshakes, thinking the cold and/or sugar would keep them awake. It worked and we arrived home and all the kids were awake--super cranky and sick of riding in the car after over 2 hours, but awake. Mission accomplished. Stephen and Alainna made their flight and the boys would made it home for naptime.

BUT WAIT. THIS IS WHEN THE DAY STARTED TAKING A TURN FOR THE MAJORLY CRAPPY.

As soon as we pulled in the driveway, I realized we were in trouble. In our panic to leave the house, I forgot to grab the key that I send Alex with to open the front door and then the garage door (because I don't have my garage door opener in the stupid rental). I walked around the house, hoping that I was as flaky as normal about locking the back door. Nope. Locked. And then I proceeded to try every stinkin' one of the 2192 windows we have on the bottom floor, but for once they were all locked. {Insert the sounds of all the kids screaming and crying. Alex: "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? WE'RE GOING TO DIE OUT HERE!' Maddie: "AUGHH!! I just want to GET OUT OF THIS CAR!" and then Aidan and Avery: "WE TIRED. WE NEED PACI and B. WE TIRED!" After trying every possible entrance and wasting 20 more minutes, I was the ball of sweat.

Plus, Avery had pooped on the way to the airport and I had forgotten about it until he reminded me by screaming about needing powder for his rashy bum. So I got to change that nastiness in the front seat while drenched in sweat and listening to everyone scream about how stinky the poop was.

Everyone that had extra keys was at least 40 minutes away. I was really, really tempted to bust open a window. But then I'd have to clean it up and pay to fix it so instead I called Brooke to see if maybe my brother had left his extra key at home. Nope. Of course not. But she offered to let me put the boys down for naps at her house while I located a key. So BACK IN THE CAR for 20 more minutes and loads more crying and messing with the boys so they'd stay awake. Luckily, thanks to Brooke's help, I was eventually able to get a key from my other brother's house, drive home to retrieve the stuff Alex needed for his Scout Twilight Camp that he had at 4:30, return the extra key back to my brother's, and make it back to Brooke's after yet another hour in the car. I felt like I had been in the car all day. OH WAIT--I HAD BEEN.

Then right as we were getting loaded up at Brooke's, Jeremy called and said that he got a message that the car was ready to pick up. SWEET. I get to get rid of this ridiculous rental car that has NO trunk space and is so tall that my kids can't get in without a step ladder. The boys were NOT happy about this because I had originally promised them that since we hadn't been able to go swimming that morning, I would take them to the sprinkler park after we took Alex. So during all of the rest of the crappy day, just imagine loud, frequent tantrums about how they were "apossed to go swimming" and how they were "apposed to go to the sprinkler park", but mom sucks, is the worst mom alive, and lies to her children all the time.

I went to drop Alex off at camp, and after 10 minutes weaving through the hot stinky crowd of boys, we found his group and I was off again to pick up the other car. But first to the gas station to fill up so I don't get charged the $56/gallon they hope they get to nail you with if you forget. Luckily, the minivan was ready and waiting at the body shop, so I pulled up next to it and started transferring all our junk from one to the other. We looked like homeless people that haul all their belongings everywhere with them. It took me forever. Did I mention it was like 101*? Sweat Ball. Capital S. Capital B. Giant drippy sweat ball.

Then the three carseats got moved and rebuckled in. Then the three kids got transferred and buckled in. Then I got to go in and fill out paperwork, sign everything, and turn in the keys to the rental car. "No damage to it? No problems with it?" the rental dude asked. "Nope. It was fine." I answered, hoping he would just ignore my sweaty pit stains and the river of sweat running down my neck and let me get the heck outta there. As I was pulling out, relieved that all the drama was over and I could finally get everyone home for the first time in 8 hours, he starts flagging me down.

THIS IS WHEN THE DAY GOT EVEN CRAPPIER THAN BEFORE, EVEN WHEN I THOUGHT IT COULDN'T POSSIBLY GET ANY CRAPPIER

"There is some damage to the rental car," he tells me in a snotty way like I was lying to him before. "SAY WHAT?!" No way, not a chance. We hardly went anywhere. I would have known or noticed damage. So he shows me some paint that's chipped off along the edge of the passenger door where it opens. "It must've hit something or been opened into something. Plus, it's sloping inward." This is a picture of the chipped door edge--please ignore the reflection of the white car and look for the white dotted looking spots along the door seam.

IMPOSSIBLE. It has only been opened twice in the entire time I've had it. Once at the airport today at the curb when Stephen jumped out--nothing there to hit or bump into. And once at my mom's when we parked in the middle of nowhere--nothing near to hit or bump into. The door would've had to remove itself and then leap 12 feet to the right to hit the only thing around--a tree. And I'm pretty sure I would've noticed a leaping door OR a leaping tree.

So I tell him I can't figure out HOW that would've happened and it HAD to have been there when he, the same exact dude, checked the car out to me in a frenzied hurry the week before. I appreciated that he had hurried the week before when I was picking it up and loading all the kids in, but now I was just TICKED because he had obviously just OVERLOOKED this "damage" last week in his rush, and now I was going to have to pay for it. (NOT to mention that I was having to pay for the damage done by hit and run butthead, and the extra amount for a large rental car because our insurance only allowed enough money for a small car each day. But I CAN'T HAVE A SMALL CAR because I haul FOUR CRANKY, SCREAMING, TANTRUM-THROWING kids around all day. AND WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE SPRINKLER PARK, MR. ENTERPRISE RENTAL CAR MAN! Just in case he didn't hear all the kids screaming it during our conversation regarding the damage.)

Then he typed up his little report, made me sign a copy, and said someone would call me later. And then when I call Jeremy to tell him all this on my way home, he says those dreaded lawyer-y words, "You didn't sign anything did you?" Whoops. I blamed it on the fact I had been having such a bad day and I had been sweating to the point of dehydration. "I'M DONE!" I screamed into the phone. Then I told him he was now in charge of dealing with it, gave him their phone number, and proceeded to try and tune out all screams of hotness, thirst, hunger, paralyzed bums from being in the car so long, and anything regarding the sprinkler park.

And after we finally got home, I still had to feed, bathe, and get everyone ready for bed. And catch up on all the stuff I would've been doing if I had been home all afternoon. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, blah, blah, blah. And I don't even get to enjoy my newly fixed car because I'm so annoyed about the "damage" to the rental car.

SO ADIOS, CRAPPY DAY. Now does anyone have an entire bottle of Children's Tylenol chewables I can eat?

**P.S. Stephen and Alainna--in NO way are you guys to blame for the crappy day. Speeding you guys to the airport in no way contributed to the suckiness of the day and did turn into a fun adventure. We welcome you back anytime, although I will require a paper copy of your travel itinerary upon arrival. heehee.**