Jeremy commented that I have raved and rambled, but I haven't shared any rants. I guess it's because I'm just such an awesomely upbeat and optimistic person, negative things rarely come into my thoughts. Ha ha. Right. I wish. So here's today's rant...dedicated to the one who nagged me to do it.
For eight and a half of the nearly 10 years of married life, we have owned a queen size bed. Not large and luxurious, but sufficient nevertheless. (More sufficient some years than others, based on our ever changing waistlines). When we finally decided to move-on-up in the world and get a king size bed (after suffering and squeezing into/onto the queen thru three pregnancies that yielded four kids), I thought my clinging-to-the-edge-for-dear-life-days were over.
Now I must backtrack a bit. I was never under the illusion that I married a rugged, macho, tough, outdoorsy type of a guy--for which I've always been perfectly happy. However--things have progressed a bit too far in the un-macho direction. In the past few years, Jeremy has become very high maintenance about his sleeping routine. He requires AT A MINIMUM : two pillows for under his head and two 6-foot long, full-length body pillows--one for each side. He literally entombs his body in pillows each night. Every inch of his body has to be in contact with at least one pillow. Has there ever been a better version of "The Prince and the Pea?"
It should also be noted that these requirements are not null and void while traveling. I have been embarrassed on more than one occasion when he calls the hotel concierge and asks them to bring up six extra pillows--to compensate for the lack of body pillows. And the poor guy looks at us like we're crazy when he sees just two people and 4,000 pillows. But the better option (according to the pillow-king) is to stop off on the way from the airport at a bedding store in order to purchase the necessary pillows. When we depart, they are then left with whomever we were visiting or the baffled maid cleaning the hotel room.
Total to date spent on pillows while traveling: $6,873. You too may one day be the recipient of enough pillows to house a family of six.
You may still ask, "well, why do you care?" And the easy answer is, I wouldn't... IF THEY WOULD STAY ON HIS SIDE OF THE BED. I no longer get to enjoy all the vast space offered by our new huge bed. I'm back to feeling squished and shoved off of my rightful 3 feet of bed space; reliving the nightmare of being smothered to death with every toss and turn. After 10 years, is a little wiggle room while sleeping too much to ask?
Not to mention...it's a bit embarrassing having to admit that my husband is a pillow-addict/sleeping snob.