Sunday, January 8, 2012

Ramblings: By a madman

Avery: But why can't I have pudding?!@#$@
Me: Because it's lunchtime. You need to eat real food first.
Avery: (CRYING, MOANING, THROWING HIMSELF ON THE FLOOR)
Me: When you cry, I can tell you're tired. Maybe you need a nap today.
Avery: I DO NOT NEED A NAP. I'm NOT crying because I'm tired.
Me: Well, when you've been crying all day about silly things, that means you're tired.
Avery: (Stunned silence) Uh...did the doctor tell you that?
Me: Yup.
Avery: (Wide-eyed. Runs away)

Moral of the Story:
If the doctor tells your mom, it must be true.
Or: Don't cry unless you really, really want something bad enough to risk having to take a nap.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Ramblings: Happy Nude Year

Oh, it's New Year? Whoopsie--that makes the holiday photo cards I just sent out entirely inappropriate. But that also ensures the PTA won't be asking me to volunteer anytime soon.

I'd like to say that we've gotten tons accomplished the past two weeks we've that the kids have been out of school and Jeremy's been around more than usual. But...I don't think we accomplished half of my 'to-do' list. Not even the fun stuff. We all passed around a terrible cold. I thought I was over it but I ended up at the doctor yesterday with a terrible earache and sinus infection. Lovely. December was a tough month for us--me and three of the kids were knocked out for consecutive three day periods with a stomach flu, Aidan got pink eye, the next day Avery was at the doctor with ear and sinus infections, and Trace has been battling teething and a bad cold that had him breathing really raspy like a tiger.  Today a trip to the doctor revealed a sinus infection and surprise! Pink eye. But I will knock on wood and say that we are all on the mend and hopefully everyone ages 5-11 will be healthy enough to return to school Thursday. Or else.
I've noticed two major things since the kids have been home all day for over two weeks. 1) They drink a TON of milk. Our milk consumption has gone up 200%. 2) My house is constantly thrashed. Immediately after being cleaned it morphs somehow back into post-tornado chaos that would be newsworthy. At least for local news.
The last day of school I was able to park with the other 4,298 parents in the grassy/muddy acre around the school, hike to the school, and attend the class parties with at least 2 of the 4 kids. They were all at the same time--the boys insisted I go to the kindergarten party, Maddie seemed only little bummed that I couldn't make hers, and all Alex cared about was that I come get him before I left since it would probably be before school was officially over. 
The boys got to participate in Texas versions of ice skating (sliding around on paper plates) and snow ball fights (chucking different sized Styrofoam balls at each other).  Oh and stuff their faces with cookies to which they applied 2 inches of bright blue frosting and 1/3 jar of sprinkles. Needless to say, they had a blast. Alex's was a "cool" party where they let the 5th graders wander at will throughout the fifth grade hallway and classrooms. They were allowed to do whatever they wanted--play the computers, sit and talk, use their cell phones. (yeah, most have phones). The coolest part according to Alex: there were three big platters of Chickfila nuggets. Uh-huh! I TOTALLY went to the wrong party.

Christmas Eve we had my brothers and their fams and parents over for dinner, the cousin ornament exchange, Grandma giving out the grandkids' blankets she's been making for the past five months, and a white elephant gift exchange for the adults. I almost wrote "adult white elephant gift exchange" but that would've been an altogether different game...not PG like ours was.

The only pictures from the game was of Jeremy with his score--enough for a very hairy crowd. I love how Trace's almost matches his crazy red hair. Grandma scored a fancy gold Buddha and Grandpa a bright blue sauna suit--"to lose weight" according to the box--and not "to look like a giant idiot" like I would've advertised on it. For some reason I can't remember most of the other things--ooh, Greg got back his own gift: a fire starter that looks like a mini rifle. Sweet. All the guys might be getting these in their stockings next year since they were all drooling.

And what the heck is going on in this picture? I look like a melting hunchback with a rogue hand growing out of my chest but without any arms where they should be. At least I don't look like I'm really enjoying peeing my pants like my brother next to me...Come to think of it, I do look like I'm noticing a growing puddle on the ground under him. 



Christmas started very early for all of us except Trace, who was lucky enough to sleep in til 8:30. Alex woke all the other kids up at 5:30 and then we were quickly awoken by their noisy chatter on the stairs. They had all their gifts open and were halfway through breakfast before Trace woke up and stood in shock for about 10 minutes. They were flinging gifts at him like he had a clue what to do with them.  He was more than slightly freaked out by Jeremy's new Reagan bust. He started jabbering at it like it was a real person once he was sure it wasn't going to attack him. Jeremy rocked his new Chuck Norris shirt--and I'm not sure what/who was holding his hair hostage...but whatever it was, it was very powerful. And not to worry, Aidan uses his forces and nerf gun to fight evil (usually).
Santa brought the twins pretty much every Star Wars figurine, ship, candy, or Lego product available on Amazon and at the nearby Walmart and Target. Santa has to cover his bases--the elves can't do it all.
Maddie scored a scooter and Alex was sorely jealous.  (That was a super understatement for the outrage that occurred.) Mom took the scooter for a spin first--you know, to test the brakes and make sure everything was working properly. And because it was super fun. Santa may be bringing me one next year. Don't worry! She wears a new giant helmet when she rides. And an AT&T guy working in the neighborhood was "nice" enough to come to the door a couple days after to tell us that she really shouldn't be using something "so powerful" without full body armor basically. How random, AT&T guy. And nosy. And a bit creepy.

I've been doing nothing but picking up nerf bullets for two weeks. All the big boys got new nerf tag guns--and all of them have learned the hard way that the tag bullets actually hurt if you get hit in the face. They have stiff velcro ends which aren't very friendly when being fired at any close distances. I've got about thirteen pictures of them crying after getting hit. I'll just post one for fun...Al won't be liking that.

A few nights ago, Jeremy and I were able to sneak off with some friends to a nice dinner (read: linen tablecloths and no highchairs!) and to see Les Miserables at the new Opera house in Dallas. We took a golf cart transport thing from dinner to the opera, which is why the picture's shaky. And I probably have a nerf bullet tangled in my hair somewhere. We spent a fortune on babysitting for the six hours, but MAN!, it was a great performance. The best part: the babysitter could drive and just drove her little self home at midnight so I could finally take off the high heeled shoes that were trying to eat my feet all night.  Definitely worth seeing if you get a chance.  The musical, not my eaten feet. 
Jeremy's a bit sunburned from taking all the kids to see the BYU football game in Dallas that day. It was sunny and about 70* and BYU won at the very last possible second. The kids were DONE after a long game in a small area with not many distractions, but at least a victory meant Dad wasn't crabby for the next three days.

And now, I've used up all Trace's naptime and then some. He's sitting and screaming for more food from his highchair. And I'm off to spend another $100 on his medicines from today's doctor's visit.  Until next time!