Ramblings: Fair Fun

FYI directed to all those non-Texans out there: Texas L.O.V.E.S. its state fair. In elementary school, they spend a week or two pumping them up for it, making projects and reports about it, and generally brainwashing them about just how cool it is. Every school district even gets a day off and free student tickets to attend. Our Fair Day was last Wednesday and since we didn't want the children shunned by all the super-Texans out there, we decided to take them.

The fair is famous for picking weird fried foods to feature each year. Plus, I think they want to try to induce as many coronary attacks as possible within the gates of the Fairgrounds...just for fun.

This year's lucky winners were: 1) Fernie's All-American Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich 2) Fried Banana Split 3) Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Waffle Balls 4) Deep Fried S'Mores 5) Fire and Ice (Deep fried pineapple ice cream) 6) Fried Chocolate Truffle 7) Chicken Fried Bacon 8) Texas Fried Jelly Beans. I couldn't get Jeremy to try any of the ones that actually sounded tasty--he went for #7--because bacon isn't greasy enough plain, it needs to be coated and then fried again. Nothing like eating hot greasy food in 85 degree heat.

I wonder how much they'd charge to deep fry that Blackberry for me?? Sounds good right? Deep fried Blackberry...

The kids were pretty good--especially since we broke down and bought them their cotton candy at 10:30 so we didn't have to hear about it for the rest of the day. (But first we all had to donate a few gallons of blood to pay for all of it.) Needless to say, the stickiness overwhelmed us for the next hour. Plus I told them the police booth was designed for parents to drop off naughty children--scared 'em straight pretty fast.

We started at the building with the big petting zoo inside. Although we were almost convinced we wanted nothing to do with it after we read the huge sign at the entrance...hemmorrhagic colitis? Yikes. I karate chopped Jeremy because I blame his profession that they have to post stupid signs like this.

You can buy big cups of food in there so we figured the kids would enjoy getting in the faces of different animals and slimed by them as they tried to feed all the animals. But apparently, some of the animals have sensitive stomachs...

It took the little boys awhile to warm up to the idea that these animals weren't secretly trying to eat their faces off. Eventually they'd stand within a few inches of the fence and pretend to pet them, but they were careful not to turn their backs on them. Avery would get so excited every time he saw something new...that is until it came close enough to possibly bite his face off.

I'm going to add to that collection of kids books about llamas. Mine is going to feature Aidan and Avery and is titled "Mama, mama. Scared of Llama." Avery didn't want to pose because he was too nervous about the critters in the background "getting" him.

Remember when I said I couldn't find any digital pictures of that hideous permed Afro haircut I had as a kid? Well, I found one. I hope mine had slightly fewer things stuck in it.

Alex searched for about five minutes before finding this guy's eyeballs under all that hair.

This big mama prompted far too many "your mom" jokes. Sort of reminded me of what I felt like when i was pregnant with the twins.

But seeing these little piggies all smooshed together just makes you want to take one home with you! Not to mention all the chicken fried bacon we could sell in a few years.

Then we ate lunch and went off to find Big Tex. The kids had learned all sorts of facts about him at school--like what size Wrangler pants and boots he wears. When we found him, Alex was less than impressed. "That can't be Big Tex. He's supposed to be bigger than that. That guy's not big." Well, sadly for him it was The Big Tex. My memory of him from when I was a kid was that he was alot bigger then. So maybe Big Tex has been downsized--or like all old people, he's been shrinking a little bit every year.

We took a quick walk through the auto buildings and let the kids climb around it all the new cars to get it out of their systems.

I found a funny sign on one of the car windows--I still don't really know what it was supposed to mean, but I"m thinking of having it tattooed on my arm so that when someone asks me something, I can just point to one of the answers.

Alex and Jeremy competed to see who could be the cause of the most severe case of whiplash.

We found some rides that even the little boys could ride. Aidan loved the canoes--he let his hand drag in the water as it floated its way along the little stream. Avery was ornery that the seats were wet and it wasn't going faster.

We were shocked when we tried to load the boys to ride this spinny ride and Avery FREAKED as soon as he sat down. He is normally the fearless daredevil and Aidan is the fraidy cat. But Aidan laughed and loved every minute of it after we had to rescue Avery before it even started. Must've had something to do with the fact it was prime-time nap time.

We all rode this pretty tame caterpillar roller coaster together and did the big metal slide that you ride down on sitting on big carpets. (FYI, not as fun when you have to carry a 30 pound kid and 2 huge, heavy carpets up the equivalent of five flights of stairs.)

This picture of Aidan and Jeremy shows just how alike they look---even down to Aidan's open-mouthed smile. The real set of twins...

At this point, it was getting pretty hot and everyone was getting cranky and whiny so we were ready to go. Plus, I think that we were close to having to take out a second mortgage on our house in order to pay for any more rides.

But on the way towards the exit, I happened to notice a guy carrying not only his kid (who was maybe three or four), but also wearing a huge hiking type backpack. On top of that, he had fastened this stiff four foot Spiderman doll that had to be fairly heavy. I'm guessing he probably felt really macho for winning it and insisted on taking it, no matter how awkwardly he was perched on his back or how sweaty he was at the end of the day from lugging all that junk around. That is some serious Spiderman love and it was a good laugh to end a fun day at the fair. Even better, we stopped at Sonic's happy hour on the way home--the BEST way to end Fair Day.

What fried snack would be your choice? Would you haul around Spiderman? Would you pet animals regardless of the risk of colitis?

Rant: Fire Ants:500; Avery:0

If anyone every asks for one good reason (or several hundred billion, tiny, vicious, segmented, disgustingly poisonous ones) not to move to Texas, here it is:

Avery managed to find a hidden ant mound and got seriously attacked by them. By the time I managed to get to him, he had sat down in them and was trying to wipe them off without much luck. I grabbed him up and ran inside and stuck him under running water in the sink. He has way too many bites to count from his knees down, one on his bum, and about 10 between his fingers and on his hands from when he was trying to get them off. The video doesn't really do justice to how messed up this kid really looks. (Note that Aidan just couldn't stand that Avery was getting all the attention. He kept trying to invent ouchies to show the camera for some sympathy.)

The poor little guy's feet and ankles have been so swollen and the skin is stretched so tight that it's sorta pale. And if you don't know about fire ants--the next day is the worst. They swell, get itchy, and then get all pussy and disgusting. He's been a super-trooper and only complained a few times so that I could put more numbing spray on them. (He's also been heavily drugged on Benadryl and Motrin since the incident.) I have to lift and carry him to his chair or the couch like a little invalid because it hurts if anything presses against his legs or if he climbs on anything. Luckily, after tonight's cool oatmeal bath, the swelling and pain was definitely down. He could walk without sort of limping and crouching like last night and this morning (as you can see by the video--he was jumping and spinning feeling the love from his Benadryl high).

I am maniacal about walking the yard about twice a day with my fireant killer so that the kids can play without getting eaten alive, but I still feel guilty about the little guy's attack. I had walked the yard five minutes before he went out and hadn't seen the one he found hiding in a puffy section of grass under a tree. Hopefully he'll forgive me, but if he doesn't, he'll probably have hundreds of little scars to use against me whenever he wants something...

Ramblings: Blast from Someone Else's Past

Jeremy's sister Kashann, had a funny post on her blog where she used this website www.yearbookyourself.com/. I had some fun with it, as you can see. It'll stick your head into yearbook pictures from years over the past four or so decades. The funny thing is, I had some of these hairstyles growing up that were, unbeknownst to me, paying homage to the past---and if I had digital pictures from back then, I'd post the evidence. My mom is laughing right now, because we're both thinking of one particular style that was so horrendous, I still haven't fully forgiven her for allowing our hair lady to perm my hair and cut it so short. Think electrocuted poodle. Now think of that poodle going through the dryer cycle a few times with a stray cat. That is almost as bad as I looked.

I have to say, we would've made one sweet fro'd couple. I would need to get some darker foundation makeup, though.

And the bangs, oh the bangs. Seeing all these big feathered bangs brings me back to the days when a big curled poof lived on the front of my head for so many years. But of course they were the kind that split in the middle--half curled backwards and half forwards. All you ladies know what I'm talkin' about.

Um, I still kind of have this hairstyle, don't I? Just a bit longer. And Jeremy only wishes he had so much chest hair to flash during highschool. I don't think he had to shave till he was 20 (no! not his chest, shave his face).

Gotta love the crispy permed look we all wanted and the guys' Kirk Cameron wanna-be floppy haircut/sweatervest combo.

Now these last three have me cracking up. While I love the middle one rockin' the mullet, I have to say that the other two remind me of Patrick Swayze in his Dirty Dancing days. Something about the eyes maybe? You tell me...

Ramblings: Because we became a bit obsessed after school

Calling all ladies---this 7 1/2 year old is single and available! Last one on this first row looks alot like Grandpa L back in the day...

Alex liked the one with the fro the best. I'm thinking it would make a fabulous Halloween costume.

That one on the right looks like Aunt Alainna (with a weird chin).
And under here--Grandma L--are you missing any highschool photos?

And the last one--I laughed so hard I got a stomach cramp and almost died...

Ramblings: It's been confirmed

Jeremy (sitting at computer): "Come here! You've got to see this! Wow. That is so cool."

Laura (walks to computer--thinking she's about to see something amazing. Like a three-legged elephant jump roping or a break dancing guinea pig.):

"You have got to be kidding me. That's what I walked over here to see?"

Jeremy: "What, don't you think it's cool?"

Laura: "No, I think those people obviously have too much time on their hands. But at least now I know for sure."

Jeremy: "Know what for sure?"

Laura: "That I'm married to an 11 year old girl."


Aerial shot of the David Archuleta-themed corn maze. Story here.

Rant: Anti-Tiny Plastic Women

Dear Polly Pocket (and friends),

As much as one member of this household has enjoyed your company over the past couple of years, I have lost my patience with you and all your tiny rubber tube socks, skirts, and impossibly miniature high heels. You have overstayed your welcome, mostly because you are a hopeless slob--leaving your belongings strewn around every inch of the house.

Oh, and before I forget to mention, I stepped on your pet poodle in the dark yesterday and had to bite through my lip to avoid screaming in utter agony. (She didn't survive the accident, I'm sad to report.)

If you fail to heed this eviction notice, I will continue--and become increasingly vigilant about--sucking up you, your friends, and the contents of your pink and purple Fashion Star Dream Closet with my incredibly robust Dyson vacuum....who shall heretoforth be known as "The Exterminator."

You've had your warning, now pack up and TAKE A HIKE! (You own a huge turquoise jumbo jet, for heaven's sake!)

Sincerely,
Me

Ramblings: Another Day at the Park

This video should be titled: "Why I'm glad I ran back inside to grab the diaper bag before our morning walk to the post office and then the park--or it would've been one squishy, stinky ride back home ."
Subtitle: "The Tale of the Poopy Hands."

Ramblings: Spoiled Rotten Nerd

OK. You've probably guessed it by now, but this one's about...Jeremy. He gets all the good titles. So, awhile back I told you all about the car shopping itch he gets every now and then. Well, his itch got scratched and he managed to get me all nice and agreeable by buying me a giant diet coke and a Fall wreath from Costco. And what better day to pick it up then when Hurricane Ike was blowing through Dallas? (This is a shot on the way home--it wasn't really raining all that hard, but the wind was strong and blowing all the spray from the semi's and cars everywhere.) We took Maddie with us and she kept going on and on about how it was her "special day" with mom and dad. Not as special for you as for Dad, little Maddie. But she got a hot dog and sprite at Costco so she was under the influence, too.


This is his new toy. He's been volunteering to run all types of errands just as an excuse to go for a drive...unfortunately, he won't let me strap two huge carseats into the backseat...yet.

While they were going over all the details of how to work all the totally unnecessary gadgets and accessories, Maddie got really bored so I gave her my digital camera and told her to go crazy with it. I laughed at all 40 something pictures she managed to take in about 15 minutes. I have close ups of plants, ceiling tiles, rocks, tire tread, and a variety of objects that were in the room. She really is getting some mad photographer skills...I especially enjoyed the self-portrait of mostly her nostrils and all the many, many shots of the guy helping us. I'm fairly certain she developed a bit of a crush on him.

You know she's my daughter when she pays homage to the Diet Coke with such a great photo feature. She also found a "special rock" and was very paranoid that I would delete it's photo--no worries, it's still here. She snooped around and found the putting green where the guys must go when they're not attacking anything with legs that happens to walk onto the lot...which means it must never get used.

There was a huge red bow in the next room that she wanted to put on the car for the drive home. Good idea, since Dad won't be getting any birthday, Christmas, or anniversary gifts for the next 7 years. Good thing it's a BIG bow.

And I'm pretty sure I remember her taking a picture of Jeremy making out with the ipod plug for the dash, but it must've gotten deleted somehow. But it's probably for the best, I want to keep this thing PG rated.

Ramblings: Crazy, party of 13--your table's ready

Thursday is a jam-packed day at our house lately after school with Maddie's ballet and Alex's soccer practice. We usually don't get home until almost 6:30 and everyone is hungry, tired, and cranky and there's still dinner, showers, and homework to deal with. So when we found out it was half price wing night, it was a perfect excuse to head over to Buffalo Wild Wings--someone else cooking dinner and then NO kitchen to clean afterwards=mom's dream come true. Plus, everyone screams and yells in there anyway, so we were right at home with our brood. We met up with the cousin crazies and their parents and Uncle Greg and Brooke. Our typical crazy table for 6 grew to 13.

Maddie got bored waiting for her food so she hijacked Brooke's camera and impressed us with her photography skills. (Of course, we were also trying to distract her because she kept staring at these three skimpily dressed ladies in Miller Lite cheerleading outfits that were choking on their own cleavage that was up to their chins. She couldn't figure out why they were walking around wearing barely any clothes.) Apparently the cool face to make when you're posing for a picture as a kid is to grab each corner of your mouth in an attempt to stretch your lips all the way around your head--each of the kids did this without prompting or influence from each other.

It was just their immediate response when the camera was aimed in their direction. But I even managed to catch the cheerleader in this one of Maddie--see the orange arrow.

Avery entertained us with impressions...this is his best Stevie Wonder. And remember when I told you Jeremy is still working on learning to smile without his mouth hanging open? He may need some more tutoring on this. Tara managed a slightly different version of the face stretching pose.

Cate was too busy coloring to be interrupted but Tara and Deanna posed obediently for all 43 pictures the kids took of them. Alex's skills with the camera weren't as good as Maddie's, but once he got his fingers off the lens he did snap one of Brooke and Greg.

Aidan was just trying to figure out how to get his hands around my ice cold Diet Coke. He tried more than once, that devious boy.

And see that maroon plaid sleeve in the side of the last picture? That's all we managed to catch of Uncle Todd in the picture mayhem. (Note Alex's mouth stretching reflex--he can even do it while drinking from a straw.) And I believe baby James slept through the boneless wing fest of a dinner . I didn't see his chubby little bod peek out of his stroller once--but I have a feeling it won't be long before I wedge a little slimy buffalo wing in his hand for a funny picture.